{"id":2539,"date":"2020-08-09T11:48:06","date_gmt":"2020-08-09T17:48:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/missionsixzero.com\/?p=2539"},"modified":"2020-09-18T09:39:16","modified_gmt":"2020-09-18T15:39:16","slug":"teammate-empathy-in-a-me-first-world","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/missionsixzero.com\/teammate-empathy-in-a-me-first-world\/","title":{"rendered":"Being a Better Teammate \u2013 Displaying Empathy in a Me-First World"},"content":{"rendered":"[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”default” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” overlay_strength=”0.3″ shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_link_target=”_self” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” width=”1\/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” overlay_strength=”0.3″ column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” text_align=”left”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” width=”1\/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” overlay_strength=”0.3″ column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwc3R5bGUlM0QlMjJwYWRkaW5nJTNBNTYuMjUlMjUlMjAwJTIwMCUyMDAlM0Jwb3NpdGlvbiUzQXJlbGF0aXZlJTNCJTIyJTNFJTNDaWZyYW1lJTIwc3JjJTNEJTIyaHR0cHMlM0ElMkYlMkZwbGF5ZXIudmltZW8uY29tJTJGdmlkZW8lMkY0NDkzNTc4NjclMjIlMjBzdHlsZSUzRCUyMnBvc2l0aW9uJTNBYWJzb2x1dGUlM0J0b3AlM0EwJTNCbGVmdCUzQTAlM0J3aWR0aCUzQTEwMCUyNSUzQmhlaWdodCUzQTEwMCUyNSUzQiUyMiUyMGZyYW1lYm9yZGVyJTNEJTIyMCUyMiUyMGFsbG93JTNEJTIyYXV0b3BsYXklM0IlMjBmdWxsc2NyZWVuJTIyJTIwYWxsb3dmdWxsc2NyZWVuJTNFJTNDJTJGaWZyYW1lJTNFJTNDJTJGZGl2JTNFJTNDc2NyaXB0JTIwc3JjJTNEJTIyaHR0cHMlM0ElMkYlMkZwbGF5ZXIudmltZW8uY29tJTJGYXBpJTJGcGxheWVyLmpzJTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[\/vc_raw_html][\/vc_column_inner][\/vc_row_inner][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row type=”full_width_background” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”default” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” top_padding=”2%” bottom_padding=”2%” overlay_strength=”0.3″ shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_link_target=”_self” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” width=”1\/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” overlay_strength=”0.3″ column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” text_align=”left”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” width=”1\/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” overlay_strength=”0.3″ column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1597859435374{padding-bottom: 25px !important;}”]In April of 2006, I walked into the team room of Special Forces (SF) Operational Detachment Alpha 092 for the first time, looking for the desk of my new Team Sergeant. I had graduated from the Special Forces Qualification course about six weeks earlier and had been working in the 10<\/span>th<\/span> Group communications support shed. My job was to refresh and retrain on the multiple radio systems I would be using whenever I would finally be assigned to a team.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I was excited and a little apprehensive, as I had been told 092 had recently returned from a particularly active deployment in Iraq. They had been under constant enemy contact at one point for over 100 consecutive days. As I entered the cramped room, <\/span>it was hard not to notice the massive shark jawbone hanging on the wall<\/span>. Next to it, was a 16\u201d x 20\u201d framed photo of the recently deceased team sergeant, Kelly Hornbeck. A well respected, fearless and experienced leader in 10<\/span>th<\/span> Special Forces Group, Kelly had been killed by a road-side bomb just a few months prior.\u00a0 The team had also lost their warrant officer, who had died shortly after returning to the states. The senior medic was cleaning out his locker and was leaving to serve time on the B team. The outgoing senior communications sergeant was packing up his personal equipment and getting ready to attend Ranger school. A few members of the team sat around on couches and folding chairs, dressed in civilian spring weather clothes, wearing tattered baseball hats and watching ESPN news on a small TV placed in the corner.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou must be Whitt\u201d said my team sergeant, Master Sergeant (MSG) Ball. I walked up the metal stairs to his desk and he told me to sit. He leaned in for a brief handshake. He was down to business, curt, not friendly, and seemed slightly annoyed by the circumstances. \u201cWelcome to 92,\u201d he formally stated. \u201cSo, you\u2019re my new Echo, and you had better be a quick learner.\u201d (I was starting to piece together the situation, and knew I was going to be the senior communications sergeant immediately). \u201cFirst of all,\u201d he continued,w<\/span>[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1597856851532{padding-bottom: 20px !important;}”]\u201cI don\u2019t care about any of your bullshit Qualifications course stories, I don\u2019t care how many degrees you have, or what you did before the Army, because none of that matters. Your job is making commo (communications) now. You must be great at it because lives depend on you and how well you do your job. You need to maintain positive control of a whole bunch of expensive shit and know how it works. Then, you must make sure the team knows how to use it. I hear you\u2019re a PT stud and that\u2019s good. Joe is downstairs and he will brief you on your necessary tasks before he leaves us. Now, what are your questions?\u201d<\/span>[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]\u00a0I thought for a second as I looked at MSG Ball, he was in no mood for chatty bullshit. \u201cNo questions yet Mass-Sarnt,\u201d I slurred (SF guys rarely pronounced complete rank). He nodded and said, \u201cOh yeah, <\/span>read the room<\/i><\/b>, \u2026 be seen more than you are heard.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cREAD THE ROOM\u201d resonated with me. This team had been through the whole combat ringer. They had witnessed one of their own, their leader, their brother, die a violent death. The senior medic who was heading to the B team had kept him alive for as long as possible during his transport to the nearest hospital. As I witnessed him zipping up his gear bags, and packing away the remnants of his locker, I didn\u2019t know at the time that he was afflicted with permanent psychological scars. They had lost another leader to tragic circumstances at home. The men in that room had seen members of other teams and attached support soldiers killed and gravely wounded in action. They had taken many lives themselves. They were cynical, passionate, guarded, close knit, profane, experienced, and could accurately read a man\u2019s soul in a few moments. After I introduced myself to the out-going commo sergeant, Joe, he led me to the small communications storage area located in a stuffed closet. Approaching the door, I quickly glanced around the team room. A couple of guys with beards peered at me and nodded their heads before returning their eyes to the TV. The rest of them didn\u2019t even look my way. I realized that fitting into this team would be one of the great challenges of my life.<\/span><\/p>\n

Before we even started talking about the communications equipment, Joe gave me a quick rundown of team 092. What made the team tick, what the eleven guy\u2019s personalities were like, and what would be expected of me in the short and long term. As I drove back to my apartment, I thought about all those dudes in that room, and wondered how will I stack up? I was 34 years old, had not seen any combat, was the newest guy on the team, and already appointed the senior communications sergeant. I had to show up at 6:00 AM the following morning to swim 1000 meters with them at a local YMCA. I had not swum in a pool in well over a year. I had to prove my worth as a teammate quickly. I had heard stories of how any display of incompetence would lead a poor schmuck to being jettisoned out the team-room door and stuck in the commo shed until his enlistment ran out. My mind was RACING.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was a strength and conditioning coach for nine years before I joined the United States Army. I proudly served six years, then resumed my career in the Strength coaching industry in 2009. I wish I could say that I was a perfect SF teammate, but I was not. Due to my background, I probably misconstrued the importance of physical fitness over consistent proficiency with the ever-changing technology of radios and computers. I didn\u2019t make the Special Forces my career path, as many others had chosen to do. However, being told to \u201cread the room\u201d influenced me, and it helped me become accepted, and become a contributing member of an important team performing asymmetrical warfare in a foreign land. READ THE ROOM has also had a positive effect as I returned to the coaching profession. Why is that?<\/span><\/p>\n

Seeing those men in their post-deployment condition back in 2006 gave me a focused sense of mission and intense level of urgency. I quickly and unconsciously felt EMPATHY for my teammates.<\/span><\/p>\n

It would be easy to write an article and bullet point a whole list of traits needed to become a better teammate. Whether you are a coach, player, a CEO, a sales executive, or a construction manager, you will depend on the inner workings of others to be successful. Wouldn\u2019t it be great if you could just run down a checklist with someone before you hire them and make sure they are a \u201cTeam Player?\u201d<\/span>[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” top_margin=”30″ column_link_target=”_self” width=”1\/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” overlay_strength=”0.3″ column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”]

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